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I found Issy’s sleeping presence grounding, comforting even.
Footy often told me, in the way only one’s mentor can, that theory and reality can be quite different. What I had just witnessed drove her words home.
As I snuggled the restless Issy to me, I reflected, trying to get my thoughts and emotions into line – and failed miserably.
The theory was fine, nothing wrong with it, it made perfect sense. I had loved AK for as long as I had ever loved anyone, and when the time had been ripe, that love had also taken a physical form. We had played games as part of that love. I hung on to that thought. I loved Emma, and our love had been tried in the fires of adversity and had come through. I had no problem with her and AK being lovers; I loved them both.
Because Emma was, unlike me, bisexual, I had said that I had no problem with her playing with AK and Keith: so why was I shaking? Why was my mind in turmoil? Why did I have a knotted feeling in my stomach?
Issy stirred. I stroked her hair and sang to her.
“Fank you Mamapix, Issy sleepy.”
She nodded back to the land of dreams. I rather wished I could have gone there myself, but it would soon be time to get supper ready, and it was not good for Issy to get too much by way of sleep, or she would not go to bed on time. I reckoned another fifteen minutes for her.
There were two aspects where theory and reality seemed not to gel. But if I hung onto the thought of game-playing, could I make them dove-tail, or was I trying to fit a round peg into an octagonal hole? (Something of a habit when I got obsessional).
I knew AK liked to be in charge. In so many ways she had always been the dominant partner in our romance. I had, myself, come to realise that Emma’s sexual instincts pushed her in the opposite direction. Latterly even I, almost the least dominant person I knew, had tended to take the initiative. It had become clear that Emma got most from our sex life when I donned the strap-on and took her, so why should it be a problem if AK called her “Slave Emma”?
My theory was that as long as it harmed no one, whatever we did between us was fine, and AK and Emma clearly wanted this sort of play. It was, I reminded myself, play. Woman up and get over it, I told myself. Anyway, I did not do jealousy. Or did I? Was I jealous? That brought me up short. Was it Julie? The idea of Julie spanking Emma? At that point I pulled myself together, kissed Issy and, looking at the clock, descended the stairs to begin making supper.
Lady F was already hovering in the kitchen. Saturday night was Issy’s “spag bol” night. The mess the little darling could cause with her spaghetti Bolognese ought to have been one of the minor wonders of the domestic world, and she was just at that stage where she wanted to “help” with the cooking. We donned our twin aprons and got on with it, with Issy declaring to Lady F:
“Issy help Mamapix!”
We had just finished the prep when Issy squeaked as AK wandered in in her robe.
“MamaAK, me help!”
“Hiya munchkin, so I see, good girl! Hi Squirt, how are you? Wasn’t sure you’d be back in time so came down to see if I could help, but I see mini-me got there first!”
I smiled and said it was fine.
“Okay darling, I will let you get on with it, the girls are just showering, I’ll go next. Squirt, would you be up for baby-sitting if we go out?”
“Mama, Issy NOT baby, no sit on Issy!”
That made all three of us laugh.
“She’s so like you, AK,” Lady F said, “a keen sense of her own person!”
“That’s my girl,” and she hugged Issy.
“I’m fine, darling, of course I’d be delighted to look after Issy. Where are you off to?”
“I wanted to show the girls the new club that has opened off Westgate – it is our sort of place, if you catch my drift!”
“You be careful what you catch! How long will you be?”
“Well, from the sounds upstairs, the girls are nearly done, so I will be about fifteen. Jules and Emma need to go back to their places and change, but as we are not meeting for a drink until nine, that should be fine!”
As Issy and I began to fry the mince with the garlic and onions, Lady F looked at me and said:
“If you want to go Pixie, I am up for looking after Issy.”
“It’s okay Lady F, not sure that is my sort of place anyway. I’ll tell you more about it when little ears are not hearing.”
“I gots little ears,” Issy said. You had to be careful escort kocaeli with her, she was so quick. AK could be so funny with her. Only the previous day AK had sworn when something had gone wrong, and a few hours later, when Issy could not make her rocking horse work, she said:
Bloody useless thing!”
AK had turned and said:
“Issy, who taught you that word?”
“You did MamaAK!”
That told her.
Emma and Julie joined us.
“Hi darling,” Emma said, giving me a big hug, “how’d the paper go?”
“Great, darling. You have time for supper here before you go back and change?”
“Thanks, love, and thanks for looking after Issy for AK.”
“Yes, thanks, Pixie,” Julie said.
By the time the spaghetti and the vegetables were done, AK had joined us, and we had a pleasant supper.
AK, Emma, and Julie seemed very happy, and I was not going to rain on their parade. Issy, as ever, provided an amusing side-show; it was amazing where that girl could get spaghetti, but I did manage to convince her that eating it was preferable to decorating her hair with it.
After supper, Julie left, saying:
“See you later lovers.”
Ouch! That hurt. I told myself all about the theory; but Footy’s law seemed to come into operation, in so far as the theory and practice failed to fit.
“Pix, I’d better scoot too. Will you be at chapel tomorrow for Mattins?”
“I will, darling, and I hope you won’t be too tired.”
She giggled, looking at AK.
“I’ll make sure she’s in bed on time, Squirt, don’t fret!”
As Emma went the unease grew, but I did a good poker-face.
AK looked fabulous when she was glammed up.
“That dress, my darling, will have all the girls drooling!”
“As long as it has you too,” she said, “that’s fine. See you later!”
I took Issy and bathed her, which was quite a job after the mess she had made. She went down quickly, happily cuddling her stuffed unicorn which she called Bub. I had once asked her why, only to receive the unanswerable reply:
“Cos that’s his name!”
As there was a good concert I’d missed on Radio 3, I decided to catch up with it, and went into the drawing room, where, to my surprise, Lady F was reading. Usually by this time she was in her flat.
“Sorry Lady F, would it disturb you if I listened to the Jordi Savall from the other evening?”
“Go ahead, Pixie, I just thought you might like company.”
I smiled and thanked her.
“Pixie,” she said after a while, “tell me to mind my own business, but you are not your usual cheery self. Is it the business with the three of them?”
I looked up from my book.
“It’s that, I think, I just need to reconcile some things.”
“Oh,” she smiled, “would this be an example of what you call ‘Footy’s law’ in operation then?”
“I didn’t know I’d told you about that?”
“I think it was Footy who first mentioned it, and I recall it coming up in a few chats between the two of you. Want to tell Lady F all about it? I do a good mother confessor Pixie.”
So I told her: first what I had seen; then what I had thought; and then feeling that somehow AK and Emma were taking me for granted.
“I know I didn’t want to go to the Club, but it might have been nice to have been asked.”
Lady F smiled.
“Well it is damned if you do and if you don’t Pixie. AK would have known that was not you sort of thing and happily assumed you’d prefer to be with Issy.”
“Agreed, but, well.”
“Feelings are feelings, Pixie, embrace them, even the bad ones. But try not to hold on to them. How far is Julie the problem?”
“It’s that, but also, well the feeling that, yes, I will say it, that I am being taken for granted.”
“Pixie, you are so helpful, all the time, so it will happen. But remember, AK and Emma love you, so try not to hold on to this.”
I knew she was right, and felt better for it.
Lady F retired for the night, and I sat and read. I popped in to take a look at Issy, but she was off with the fairies. I set the baby alarm so I could know if she woke, and then went down to ensure everything but the front door was firmly secured, before taking myself off to bed.
It was one of those long June nights when even at eleven o’clock it seemed not totally dark, which added to my difficulty getting off to sleep.
The next thing I knew was when I felt a breath on my neck.
“Squirt, I need to apologise.”
Startled, I emerged from deep gölcük escort sleep to something like wakefulness. It was AK, a little the worse for drink and in just her robe. She smelt of drink and pussy.
“What for?” I said, turning to face her. She kissed me.
“Cos I was a thoughtless bitch. I just thought the Club wasn’t your sort of place, but I could have been a bit more tactful.”
Sleepily, I kissed her and said:
“Yes, you bloody well could have been, and while I am at it, what’s with this ‘Slave Emma’ stuff?”
“Oh you heard, did you? You know your Emma is quite the subby girl underneath that respectable exterior?”
“Yes,” I giggled, “I had noticed.”
“I just fancied letting my domme side have full rein, and you know how I can be when that happens, so come here you little tart!”
Maybe I should have resisted, but that was the thing, I loved her, and I knew it had been lust and tactlessness in twin drive; she knew it too. She also knew how wet she made me. So, as ever, I turned over and snuggled into her breasts.
“I do love you, Squirt, it’s just, well, you know me.”
“No, who are you and why am I about to devour your tits?”
“Because you know that Emma and Jules were on them earlier, if you give me a kiss you may still be able to taste Emma’s cunt.”
Damn, I thought, AK knew just which buttons to press and in what order. Well, I thought, two could play at that.”
“Can I suck your tits, Mummy?”
I heard a whimper and a little moan from her as my tongue touched her sweaty right breast.
“What did you say, Squirt?”
“I said, does Mummy want me to suck her tits?”
“Fuck, Squirt, you are the hottest little perv, yes, yes, suck Mummy’s tits!”
I smiled. I had her, and on my terms, not hers.
I sucked in slow pulses on her nipples before bringing both tits together, I was able to suck both nipples at once. That always drove her wild, and I had figured that she had not come into my room just to say sorry. Where she got her appetite, goodness knows, but she was inexhaustible. I was determined to test that. She had been with Emma and Jules, but I knew which of us knew her needs best.
I fondled and massaged her tits, lavishing attention on them until she was moaning louder.
“Now my cunt, Squirt, lick me!”
I ignored her and continued to play with her tits, sucking and then scratching her nipples with my teeth. I stopped short of biting, but let my teeth scratch across their hardness.
“Fuck, Squirt, stop bloody teasing me.”
“Are you getting all hot?”
“Fuck, you know what I want!”
To be entirely accurate, I did, but I also knew what she was going to get, and thrust three fingers into her wetness. That I could, so easily, spoke of earlier activity, so I went for it.
“Were they Emma’s or Julie’s finger in here earlier?”
“Fuck, oh Squirt, damn it!”
Pushing in harder, feeling her open, and moving my fingers in there, I continued to so what I wanted, not what I knew she wanted.
“Well, AK, answer me?”
“Both of them, you bloody little tease!”
“You really are a dirty girl aren’t you. Maybe your Squirt needs to fuck you harder?”
“Yes, yes, fuck me Squirt, fuck meeeeee!”
How could I refuse such a charming request?
Opening my bedside drawer, I pulled out the dildo I usually used on Emma, and put it to AK’s lips.
“Suck on that!”
She did, slobbering on it like it was the thing she enjoyed most in her mouth, which, at least in its human manifestation, was probably correct.
When I judged the time was right, I pulled it out and, without further ceremony, plunged it into her cunt, making it squelch.
“Fucking hell, fuck, fuck, you bad girl!”
At that point I began to bite her nipples, pulling them as I bit, and thrusting in and out faster and deeper. She was going to cum, and cum when I wanted, and how I wanted. Two could play at this game.
AK was pressing herself shamelessly onto my dildo, my biting her nipples made her moan loudly.
“You want to cum AK?”
“What do you say?”
“Fuck, please can I cum?”
As I pushed the invading phallus in as deep as I could, I slipped a finger against her wet asshole and pushed. That did it. She came, and came hard and long.
“You are such a tease, Squirt!”
“Well, who was it came into my bedroom in the early hours with izmit sınırsız escort sex on her mind and lips?”
“Let me give you release, darling?”
I giggled. I was not going there. This may have started on her terms, but it would finish on mine.
“Oh I think I can get Emma to take care of that soon. Bed, now, bad girl!”
“Yes, Miss Squirt!” AK giggled.
As she tiptoed from the room, though I felt desire to orgasm myself, I felt something else too. Somehow, the situation with Emma, AK and Julie had just resolved itself.
I was grateful for the alarm clock, as otherwise I would have been woken by Issy and not had time to breakfast before Mattins. I showered, dressed, and was in the kitchen by seven, which meant that I caught Issy when she woke just after. I fed her and told her “MamaAK was sleeping.”
“Mama dirty stop out!”
“She is precious one. Now, Mamapix got to go to church with Auntie Emma, you want to come?”
I got her ready, and she came with me to Mattins at eight-thirty. I smiled when I saw Emma looking a little tired, and she smiled back when she saw Issy.
Issy, who had come with me before, was well-behaved, and love talking with the students over post- Mattins breakfast. It gave me a chance to chat with Emma.
“I am sorry, daring, was I insensitive last night?” She said.
“No, I understood, you needed to get it out of your system.”
“I did, and it was fun, but you do know that is all it was?”
“Yes,” I said, knowing it was true, “I know, but sometimes it is hard to process. Mind you, I resolved it later, as AK came to molest me!”
“That woman is insatiable!”
“You know it! Anyway, I sated her.”
“Don’t tell me she has you subbing for her too? Aren’t Julie and I enough?”
I smiled enigmatically before going over to help Issy with her food:
“Who said anything about me subbing?”
The look on Emma’s face amused me.
By the time Issy and I got back, AK and Lady F were up, so I prepared a late breakfast – Issy’s third, and we got our Sunday underway.
That day marked a change. After what had happened with AK, I stopped worrying. I knew now that their threesome was no threat, and indeed, that Emma was not the only woman with whom I could assertive. That did not, as I told Emma next time she helped me to cum, mean that I wanted it that way all the time; but it was sufficient to know I could do it.
Keith’s summer leave rather put an end, for a time, to the threesomes. Interestingly, it seemed enough for him to know that Emma might join them. AK told me that, for now, after their long separation, he wanted to concentrate on her. During that next month or so, she seemed as close to being sated as I had ever seen her.
Emma and I were also good, and while AK, Keith and Issy went on holiday to Egypt, we both spent a busy August writing. Holidays were not my thing. I got bored too easily.
The result was that by late September as the start of the academic year approached, I had the first draft of the whole thesis with Footy.
“Pixie,” she said over lunch in the senior common room, “you know you have two more years in which you can do this?”
“I also know that I can submit it in a year and a half. What I want to know Footy is if I am on the right track?”
“Well, I shared it with a couple of experts, and they are excited. Both want you to give some papers next May and June. By the way, do you want to do any teaching, it will help you get a permanent job.”
I had been expecting that and, to Footy’s surprise said no.
“But you will need some to get a job.”
“Not now, Footy. I really am not sure what I want to do, but a full-time academic is not me, sorry.”
She smiled sadly.
“I guessed not.”
The problem for me was a nice one to have.
With the Commission and the media work, and with the success of the publication series, I was developing another career strand in the media which paid much better than teaching, and left me time for my own work. Footy was right to point out that it was less secure, but the fact was that I did not need to earn a living that way.
I discussed in with Gran, who happily informed me that the income from my investments was more than twice an academic salary.
So it was that that second year as a postgraduate student began to open up opportunities for me beyond the world of academia.
At the same time, as Issy moved towards her birthday and the start of nursery schooling, AK was promoted, Emma’s College Fellowship renewed as a permanency, and Lady F basked in her success as an author. We had, it seemed, weathered the storms, but of one thing, I was sure. There would be more to come.
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