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Before reading this chapter, that covers a ten year period of my life, it’s strongly recommended that you read “And Hubby Watched,” “Single Again” and “Those Fucking Years,” as well as the previous chapters of this series. They will add important information to my bi activities and give more of an insight into the breakdown of my marriage.
There’s a very old saying in the advertising industry.
“Never fuck a client.”
Well I did but then I married him.
Just after my thing with Marcia I was put onto a new account the agency had won. By most standards it was quite a small account. Just the size for a young, female fresh from leaving university after two years, copywriter to earn her stripes on. I earned more than my stripes, though, for the effort I put into the account. I also earned the client who owned the packaging business for which I was writing the copy.
Kevin was some nine years older than me. From the first time I met him at the presentation I was enamoured by him. He was handsome, witty, confident and outgoing yet considerate and caring, very understanding and keen to please. He had that aura about him that many self-made, successful businessmen have. A sort of assuredness that’s almost arrogance but not quite. He was seemingly comfortable no matter who he was with. He always had the right word or phrase and was totally comfortable when in the spotlight.
We hit it off right away. We developed an easy way of relating to each other and of working together. And we worked together very closely in the early days of the account. So closely that for a while I spoke to him on the phone several times a day as we developed the ad campaign. So close that we had meetings probably every other day. Close so that these meeting started taking place in the late afternoon or early evening either at his offices in Mayfair or at the agency in Covent Garden. And so close that we gradually ended the meetings with a drink or a quick bite to eat.
The result, though, was worth the effort for between us we produced some great copy that really worked well for the account when the campaign eventually broke some months later.
It also worked well on other levels as well. Just as our working relationship had gradually developed so had the way we related to each other. We became more relaxed. We started to flirt. Jokes and double entendres became the norm. The normal client copywriter handshake when we met or parted became a kiss on the cheek. And that led to one kiss not being on the cheek but on the lips. And that led to his arm not resting against my side but going round me. And that led to us not having a space between our bodies but to mine being pulled tightly against his. And one evening that led to us not going our separate ways after the meeting but to me going back to his flat. And of course that led to me breaking that cardinal rule of advertising, for I did fuck the client. And I fucked him and he fucked me after that first time on a frequent basis. Like nearly every day for a month or so!
I fell totally and utterly head over heels in love with him. No ifs or buts, no reservations or concerns. I was gone and gone completely. He was all that I wanted and everything I’d ever dreamed about. And that led to me moving in with him to the consternation at first of my parents. But then as Kevin always could he charmed them and soon they were taking his side in any arguments between us as opposed to mine.
We got married and I had Sarah. I thought things would go on being wonderful for ever and for a few years they did. Not only did I never look at anyone else, male or female, but I never even entertained any thoughts in those directions. I was physically and emotionally totally faithful to him and I thought he was to me. And I thought that’s how it’ll always be.
I caught him being unfaithful and I thought my world would end. It didn’t of course and he talked me into forgiving him. A couple of years later I suspected him again and then a little later I found out that he was for sure. Although we stayed together for Sarah’s sake the magic had gone. We did, though, try to save it. We did things that we felt or, more accurately, Kevin persuaded me might, perk things up. Spice up the failing relationship, bring some of the magic back. Things like him taking glamour photos of me, having sex in places where we might get caught and trying out some sexual diversions such a tying up and mild S & M.
He also after lengthy cajoling and persuasion got me to make love to another woman while he watched. Jenny was her name and doing that in front of him was the symbolic end of our marriage.
The actual end, though didn’t come for another year or so. During that time I was sure that he was “at it” again but I didn’t have the evidence. The moment I got it though, my courage was raised and I kicked him out. And that very night I made love to a neighbour. I had sex with casino şirketleri a woman I’d known for some time, Toni, and it was a fantastic cleansing process.
So after Marcia my involvement with other women went on hold until Jenny and that must have been a good eight years later. And after her there must have been a further break of three or four years until Toni and the night my marriage ended.
Living alone with Sarah in a lovely apartment in Docklands waiting for my divorce to come through I had to adjust to being alone. It was hard. It was very, very hard. But I did it. I lasted the year it took for the divorce to come though without once having sex. I just could not bear the idea of having to develop any sort of new relationship. Of having to play that silly role of getting to know someone well enough to have sex with them. It also seemed unfair on my daughter so I stayed away from it. I vowed to “stay pure” and untouched until after the divorce was finalised and I did that.
I’d sort of assumed that once I was a free and single woman everything would be fine sexwise. I’d expected that once divorced I’d be able to “fuck ’em and leave ’em” as the modern woman seems to be able to do. But somehow I couldn’t. Somehow the idea of sex purely for pleasure or relief didn’t work for me. Whilst, after what Kevin had done to me, I didn’t want any deep emotional involvement with men I found that sex without it wasn’t that successful. So I had a fairly difficult time during this period that I called, “those fucking years.”
In some ways during those years and since the divorce my sex life has been more successful with “my girls” than it has with men. And the first of those after the divorce was with Sherry.
With this I can claim little outside influences and certainly naivety did not play a part. It was totally down to her and me. The her in question this time was, of all things, a female tennis coach. We’d known each other her for years and we’d seen each other marry, have children and separate from our husbands. When I was very active on the county tennis scene and played for Essex I got to know most of the leading UK tennis girls and the rumours of fairly rampant lesbianism are, I can assure you, true. Whilst Sherry was never in that category, (and, before you ask neither was I in any way) she had always had a rather risqué reputation.
After my break up from Kevin I spent more time at the tennis club and resurrected a number of old friendships including Sherry. Nothing more than tennis and the occasional drink afterwards or the meeting at club dos. It was at one of these after I “re-emerged” that I was dancing next to her in a circle of girls, yes very Essex but no handbags! As the music changed we were together dancing and she took me in her arms for a jive. After, we sat at the bar and she asked how things were after the divorce and I was telling her that I was now “back on the scene” and had seen a few men but that there was no one special. We talked for ages as old friends, I thought, for I had never had any feeling that she had ever come onto me or had any interest in me as a sexual partner.
We played tennis together a few times and then we were both at a party. Again, we chatted a lot and danced together not in any way sexual I assure you. I told her that I had split from my latest, (well 2nd), beau and that I was no longer seeing anyone and mentioned how unsatisfactory I found the dating game. Sitting there in a quiet part of the house away from anybody I was absolutely, as they say, gobsmacked when she looked right into my eyes and said almost expressionlessly.
“Maybe Mandy, it’s time you and I had an affair.”
Totally shocked I replied rather inanely. “And why do you say that Sherry?” as I frantically tried to gather my thoughts.
“Well I think we are both lost soles in this rather messy world and that we might be able to help each other.”
I didn’t reply but just sat there looking at her wondering what would come next. I wasn’t that excited I realised or even surprised, insulted, worried or particularly concerned. I guess interest and intrigue were the two paramount emotions.
“Yes,” she continued “I think we both don’t know where we are going or what we are after and we are good mates aren’t we so perhaps we should stick together?”
I smiled and said. “Rather tortuous logic there Sherry for proposing that I should have an affair with you.”
She again smiled and went on. “Maybe but don’t tell me you haven’t tried the “forbidden fruits” Mandy for I’m sure you have.”
Rather foolishly I fell into the trap of asking. “How do you know that?”
We both laughed at my faux pas and she said. “Well it’s my business to know such things.” To my relief she continued, “Of course I don’t know who with and how much but I can tell Mandy that you are not unknown to other women.”
We chatted on for a while but then we got asked to dance and we didn’t have casino firmaları the chance to talk any more that evening. A few days later I was at the club and had dropped my car off for a service on the way being then given a lift by the garage who had said that I should ring them later and they would bring it to the club. I played in the late morning had some lunch and then had a knock around in the afternoon. As I finished Sherry came up to me and said that we had to talk and could we go somewhere. I explained about the car and she said. “Let me run you there to pick it up we can talk on the way.”
In our tracksuits and tennis gear we started off just as the sun was going down. It was March and although it wasn’t cold it was damp and drizzly as we drove along the country lanes and into the forest. Pulling into a car park cut into the forest, she said.
“Best if we stop to chat Mandy if that’s ok?”
There were a couple of other cars in the large car park both with very steamed up windows indicating what was probably going on in them. The light had pretty much now gone so when Sherry stopped the car in the furthest corner from the road and turned off the engine it was quite dark, the only light coming from the dash board.
“You have been on my mind ever since Saturday,” she blurted out adding, “I probably should not have said what I did.”
I said. “Don’t worry Sherry, probably the booze.”
She leaned forward and turned to me as she replied. “No Mandy it wasn’t. I mean’t but maybe should not have expressed it.”
We talked along those lines for a while until she said.
“And I shouldn’t have said what I did about you and other girls, it was purely speculation.” I nearly confirmed to her that I had been with others but something told me to keep that to myself and she whittered on for a while until she said. “But of course you know that I have don’t you?”
I told her that I had guessed that she had, and she went on. “And I can’t help telling you Mandy that for years I have wanted to go with you and that since Saturday I have hardly thought about anything else.”
That did hit me for I didn’t want that sort of pressure but, I must admit, I was flattered. I looked at her and said.
“Oh Sherry don’t.” as I put my hand without thinking onto her arm.
She said. “I can’t help it Mandy, I have never fancied a woman as I do you,” her right arm going around my shoulder. “Oh Mand,” she purred, “Will you think about it?”
I said nothing and we sat there for what seemed an age but was probably not even a minute simply looking at each other. I didn’t back off or do anything to deter her nor did I encourage her but I knew what was coming next. All my womanly instincts screamed that she was going to kiss me and I knew that if I was to avoid that I would have to do something to change the mood. I could change the subject and thus get us out of the situation without any undue loss of face on her part or I could do nothing and accept the inevitable. I was strangely calm as I had been when undressing with Jenny or all those years ago that first time with Marcia, so I simply sat there doing absolutely nothing. Possibly I wanted something to happen, maybe I knew that she wanted me and that caused my actions. It could have been that the latent desire that had been satisfied on just a few occasions in my life was now resurfacing.
Whatever the motivation I sat there still as her hand touched my cheek and as her face moved closer to mine. She stopped just inches from me her breath warm on my cheeks and her lips slightly parted as if asking my permission to proceed. I again made no movement to detract her and thus implicitly, I suppose, gave that permission.
And then we were kissing.
It was tremendous de’ja vu as that vaguely familiar but almost forgotten softness of a woman’s lips touched mine. But it just didn’t seem right. I wasn’t prepared or ready for it. And on top of that two women snogging in a public car park did strike me as slightly sordid.
I moved my face and said. “No Sherry, no.”
She immediately pulled away apologising and saying how sorry she was. I felt sorry for her for I had certainly led on her on a little and I told her there was no need to be. We talked a little more and I explained how confused I was over the commitment and sex thing with men. I even told her a little about Jenny and those earlier experiences trying to illustrate that it was not her that I was rejecting nor a female but sex and involvement altogether. She asked whether there was a chance that I would agree to try with her and I said. “Well there’s always that chance Sherry” adding that she would though have to give it time.
I saw Sherry a few times at the club over the next couple of weeks and each time we talked about it sometimes very obliquely when others were around but at other times when alone rather more intensely. I suppose I was slowly coming round to an acceptance güvenilir casino of the idea. I guess that the way she had gone about it and how things developed had created a mood of “why not, what do we have I to lose?” But I was nowhere near convinced that it was any different really to a man for there were still the emotional and the commitment considerations and I remained non-committal to her.
A week or so later we played a doubles match against a couple from another club in a county tournament one evening. We absolutely wiped the floor with them winning love and one finishing the match in just about half an hour. They were rather sheepish afterwards and as we had a cup of tea with them they apologised for not being our standard. We were the last people at the club and Len the steward came over and said that he was leaving and would Sherry lock up as she often did. The other team took this as the signal to go as well leaving Sherry and me alone in the club.
“Let’s raid the bar” she said laughing, “get pissed at the club’s expense.”
We went into the small bar and I replied. “I don’t know about getting pissed but I could murder a white wine.”
Although only late spring it was unseasonably warm and, as we hadn’t hardly even perspired in the match, neither of us had put on our track-suits. She was wearing one of these Venus Williams bodies a little like an old fashioned swim suit but so tight that every curve was accentuated and I had on a short, pink, fairly straight, unpleated skirt and a lowish top with thin straps leaving my shoulders bare.
We sat in the bar and drank in silence for a while. It was obvious to both of us that the topic we had been discussing for the past couple of weeks had to be raised and I was, I suppose, waiting for her to do so.
“Have you thought any more about what I asked you?” she enquired.
“Yes I have,” I blurted back adding, truthfully, “I’ve thought of hardly anything else.”
“And have you reached a decision?” she asked from across the bar table.
“Oh Sherry I don’t know,” I told her looking down and avoiding her gaze.
We mumbled on with a range of what were probably inanities going over all the same ground as she, not overly pushily tried to persuade me. But I was still not ready. I still needed something else. Something more, an added inducement. What it was I didn’t know? But I still did not feel able to say either yes or no to the rather clinical suggestion she had made now on several occasions of “perhaps it’s time you and I had an affair Mandy!”
We finished our drinks and I turned down another.
“Sitter problems? She asked.
“No” I replied. “Sarah’s staying with a friend tonight,”
“Fancy a pizza then?” she said, “as you don’t have to rush home do you?”
“No I don’t,” I replied, “Ok then let’s do that.”
We went into the changing rooms with me expecting that we would just put our track suits on and go. I opened my locker and had my back to her when I her heard her say.
“No shower then Mandy?”
I called out without turning. “No I’ll go like this I didn’t even break sweat.” I knew the place we were going was very casual and had often been there in a track suit so I knew it wouldn’t matter.
“Oh that’s a shame,” she called out with, obviously from her tone, a smile, “I was hoping we could have one together.”
“Not tonight love, sorry,” I called back, adding with a laugh, “I’m going rough, sweaty and dirty” turning as I did so.
She was standing there wrapped in a towel and we just looked at each other for a moment or two. She was holding the towel around her and above her breasts and her eyes took in the surprise on my face. We just stared at each for a while as her eyes seemed smoulder at me. I didn’t move, I probably couldn’t and I certainly could not have spoken for suddenly the atmosphere was so heavily charged with sexual undertones. I felt an enormous pang as the fact that she and I were alone and she was just wrapped in the towel hit me. It got worse, or better dependant upon where you are coming from.
As Sherry’s eyes seemed to burn into mine I saw her hands move. It was as though things had gone into slow motion. Her fingers opened, they moved away, they let go of the towel. Then slowly, so slowly it seemed, the towel drifted down and away from her gradually revealing her small heavily nippled breasts, her narrow waist and tight, so flat tummy. Down and down it went until she stood there naked with it in a bundle around her feet.
At first I don’t think she knew what to do and tried to cover up the rather blatant action. On the other hand, of course, I may have misinterpreted it for she said.
“Well I think I will.”
But we remained where we were just looking at each other, she didn’t move to go to the shower nor did she pick up the towel. I felt a tremendous surge of excitement and the sensations I’d had with Susie, Marcia and Jenny almost overwhelmed me as I looked at her. I realised then I wanted her. I wanted to make love with her. And also I had some other feelings. I felt in control, in charge of the situation with no nerves and I felt my inhibitions start to slip away.
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