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This story is part of an ongoing series. The chronological order of my stories is now listed in WifeWatchman’s biography.
Feedback and constructive criticism is very much appreciated, and I encourage feedback for ideas.
This story contains graphic scenes, language and actions that might be extremely offensive to some people. These scenes, words and actions are used only for the literary purposes of this story. The author does not condone murder, racial language, violence, rape or violence against women, and any depictions of any of these in this story should not be construed as acceptance of the above.
Part 12 – En Garde! (continued)
“DEFEND YOURSELF, TROY!”
My instincts had cut in even before I’d heard the warning yell, and I was turning to intercept the crowbar blow with my own red crowbar. My attacker was in all black, with armor that was better than a basic motorcycle protection suit. My attacker was a woman; those large breasts could not be hidden.
I parried the blows as everyone stopped to watch. I don’t know if they’d figured it out yet, but it was the golden yellow crowbar that gave her away.
This was Troy vs. Troy… I was facing off against my own wife, Dr. Laura Fredricson, late of the Central Intelligence Agency, and one serious badass at the martial arts (not to be confused with the ‘marital’ arts, but I digress…).
*CLANG!* *WHANG!* *CLANG!*
This was the first time Laura and I had engaged in personal combat with crowbars, and she was holding nothing back. She came at me with a couple of strong crowbar blows, then went for martial arts kicks. I parried the blows and simply sidestepped the kicks, graciously not taking her down with the Aikido moves available to me.
The noise and chatter in the gym increased as the crowbar battle continued. Most of the Officers had gone back to the bleachers to sit and watch. And they were getting a great view of a great battle.
Laura feinted and then moved in with a blow. I did not react in time and only partially deflected the blow onto my arm. In the real world, that would’ve hurt. In this exercise, it still hurt. I acted as if I was enraged and was going to hurl myself into an attack, but as Laura readied to take advantage, I suddenly stopped. As Laura nearly lost her balance, I tried to cut her legs out from under her.
Damn, she was fast enough, and stopped it. She was good. Damn good. We continued the lightsaber… er, crowbar battle, and then the earsplitting whistle, blown by Chief Moynahan, stopped us. We bowed to each other, then took our helmets off. Officers were stunned when they saw it was their Police Psychologist that had battled me to a standstill.
“Sir!” said Micah Rudistan with a jovial grin, trying to start trouble, “did you take it easy on your wife, there?”
“Are you kidding?” I replied with marmaris escort a grin. “You better believe it! I took it very easy on her… I don’t want to have to sleep on the couch tonight!” As laughter erupted, I saw out of the corner of my eye that Laura was not amused, and was putting her helmet back on. I quickly put on mine, turned, and parried the powerful swing at my back!
Stupid to fail. And Laura had failed to get me. Now she was swinging at me again, then began mixing it with more martial arts, and this time she was really out for blood. For a moment she pressed me, and I remained on the defensive. But then I saw my opening… and I showed some things about Aikido that even Cindy had not seen.
I swung the crowbar, which Laura parried, but I was already pressing the attack and moving in on her. With a lightning fast, deft move, I grabbed her wrist and arm and twisted her around, using her own weight against her. She went to the floor and rolled, but was fast and experienced enough to be back on her feet instantly. Then came more crowbar clashes, then Laura tried another martial arts move and kick. I flowed with it, turned her, then cut her legs out from under her, successfully this time.
“Whooooaaaaaa!” the audience gasped almost as one. Laura had quickly scrambled up, so I couldn’t take further advantage. I couldn’t see her face behind her darkened helmet mask, but I could sense she was shocked at my Aikido skills. And getting a bit angry and frustrated. She was ‘not winning’.
She tried an ‘anti-Aikido’ move that Cindy had been practicing for a long time, but I just switched to a more basic judo-“ish” move. In the blink of an eye, I had her yellow crowbar in one hand with my red one, and with the other I practically threw my wife over my shoulder, in reality over my arm, using her own weight and momentum against her. She flipped over and landed pretty hard on her back.
Chief Moynahan blew the whistle again, and everyone broke into applause as we took our helmets off and bowed to each other again. Laura’s face was flushed, and I wondered if I really was going to be sleeping on the sofa with Bowser tonight.
“Damn, I had no idea you were that good!” she said quietly.
“I’m even better in bed.” I whispered back, making her laugh.
“I knew that already.” she replied with a ‘look’ and a little smile.
“All right, guys.” I said. “As you can see, one has to go full bore no matter who the opponent is… in this exhibition against my wife, who has totally shocked me this morning, to being in the Police Boxing Matches rings with fellow Officers, to the real world out there where the perps don’t consider it a friendly contest.”
“That’s right.” said Chief Moynahan, addressing everyone as well. “Practice like you play, play like you practice. Train as hard as you can, so that you can defend yourselves and innocent civilians out there marmaris escort bayan as effectively as you can.
“Also,” said Chief Moynahan, ” it would seeeeeemmm that all of the Troys are well versed in the martial arts. All of you are going to have to be at the very top of your games if you’re going to beat Mr. Crowbar in the Police Boxing Matches. Isn’t that right, De-tec-tive Davis?”
“Anything worth having isn’t easy, sir.” said Davis. “But I’m still going to win it all.”
“What do the rest of you have to say about that?” asked the Chief.
“SET THOSE BRACKETS UP RIGHT, COMMANDER!!” they said in unison. I broke down laughing, realizing the Chief (and probably Teresa) had coordinated that, and very well. We simply have too much fun in this Police Department, I thought to myself. No wonder Laura wanted to join the fun.
Then I started wondering about the real reason Laura had used me for crowbar practice…
Part 13 – Messing With Clan Crowbar
“This is Bettina Wurtzburg, KXTC Fox Two News!” shouted the lovely reporterette from in front of City Hall at 7:00am, Tuesday, April 10th. “The Board of Inquiry has reached its decision and issued its report in the case of Commander Donald Troy’s use of a helicopter gunship!”
MCD was full of Police Officers, one Police Psychologist, and one four-year-old Future Detective, but it was totally silent as everyone listened.
“The Board voted 2 to 1…” said Bettina, “that Commander Troy was justified in his use of the helicopter to engage criminals in order to rescue two wounded Police Officers!”
MCD erupted into applause, then settled down to listen to the rest of Bettina’s broadcast:
“Though the vote was 2-1,” said the lovely redheaded reporterette, “an unusual event happened in that all three Board members wrote separate opinions. Lead Commissioner Silas voted that Commander Troy’s actions were justified, but he took the unusual step to write an opinion that stated that continued actions beyond the norm of Police protocols would be a problem in the future, and his comments advised the Town and put her in positions where she did excellent work… work she is still doing superlatively, I might add. I am extremely proud of the good work Captain Teresa Croyle has done, and I stand by her. Captain Croyle, will you come up, please?”
Teresa made her way down the aisle to the podium. As she came up to the podium, Chief Griswold made room for her, but did not leave the dias yet. The Press exploded, shouting over each other with questions And then… it suddenly fell silent.
It would seem that the Press noticed that Your Iron Crowbar had entered the room, carrying a four-year-old. My four-year-old.
As I reached the base of the dias, I turned and said “Carole, say hello to these not-so-nice Press people.”
“Hello, not-so-nice Press people.” Carole said loudly. Teresa smiled and Chief Griswold escort marmaris barked a laugh. I was smiling, too, as I took Carole up onto the platform and handed her to Teresa.
“Smart girl. Just like her mother.” I said, then said more loudly: “I’ll be back in a second. I’m going to make sure the Press vehicles in the parking lot don’t have expired tags.” With that, I began walking out of the Press Room. Of course, I didn’t go much farther than the door.
The point was well made. Teresa had beaten up Dean Allen in Christmas misery and frustration. She also had saved Carole in a Christmas miracle. Chief Griswold would later say that he’d never seen a Press Corps with such helpless looks on their faces.
“So what were your questions?” Teresa asked sardonically.
Finally, Lester ‘Penis Holder’ Holder dared to ask a question. “Aren’t you exploiting your rescue of that child for political purposes right now?”
“No more than Della Harlow was exploiting Captain Croyle’s one mistake, and attacking Viet Nam war heroes like Captain Croyle’s father.” growled Griswold. “And Harlow may have broken laws in bringing up Captain Croyle’s personnel records. I’ve filed a complaint with the FEC, the State Elections Board, and Public Safety IG Office, who continues to have jurisdiction over Harlow as a retired Police Officer.”
It was now really bad for the Press in the room. I came on back in and retrieved my daughter. “Okay, Carole, let’s go to my office.”
“Okay, Daddy!” Carole said as I took her into my arms. Teresa followed us out; this Press Conference was ‘ovah’, and everyone knew it.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Cindy was beside herself with laughter as we sat in my office. Teresa also looked greatly amused. Carole was sitting on my desk, looking around, and Laura was also with us.
“That’ll never make the evening news.” said Teresa.
“No,” I said, “but it should stop the Press from giving you any crap, and maybe Della Harlow will get the message that you are absolutely the wrong person to use to attack me, Chief Griswold, or Sheriff Allgood.”
“What are you looking at, Carole?” asked Laura, noticing Carole’s curiosity.
“Daddy’s office.” said Carole. “It’s going to be my office one day.” Needless to say, three of the four adults in the room were amazed. Cindy seemed to not be.
“You’re going to have to do well in school and then work hard to make this office yours.” I said, always taking advantage of a ‘teachable moment’.
“I will, Daddy.” said Carole importantly. “But it will be Trr-eee-sa’s office next.”
“And where will your Daddy’s office be?” asked Cindy, continuing to sense Carole’s vibe herself.
“Over there.” said Carole, pointing toward’s the Chief’s office. “In the funny shaped office in the corner.” The Chief’s office was built as a pentagon. Again, we were stunned at Carole’s vision.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
“Sir,” said Sergeant Rudistan, “the Press is either not leaving the parking lot, or have taken up stations across the street, watching the gated lot. And your mother just arrived to pick up Carole.”
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